Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
