you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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