Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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