I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
