roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
