I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
this is an emotional support booty call
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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