The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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