just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
