I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
