ugly people sure do ruin things
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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