I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
