Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
