kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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