is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
