and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
