Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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