PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
