no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
