some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wish my penis had a tongue
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
