I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
