We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
