I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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