That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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