I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
