the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
