Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
