I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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