I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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