Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
her facebook's as public as her vagina
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
