Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
