Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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