I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My hand turned me down
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
