How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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