After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
