Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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