I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
ok first of all what the fuck
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize