i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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