tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
