it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
