I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
