I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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