I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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