he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize