Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
