This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
