you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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