What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
