i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
