is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
