I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize