I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
