I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
