college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
