I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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