HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
