he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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