Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize