She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
