I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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