dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
