just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
