..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
