It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I love having hate sex.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize