That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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