I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
