Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
