I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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