Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
