Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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