im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
